I believe that when there is no underlying medical reason for sexuality not to be flowing as you would like, your body is communicating a message to you. It’s like an electric circuit – if all the body, mind, brain and body aren’t connected, there will be a blockage or disconnection. That might be to yourself or towards a partner. I have learnt that each of our sexual and relational stories are made of different pieces that have brought us to our present day. Through counselling I’ll aim to help you figure out what that reason is, and if you’re ready to, help you try to remove that barrier. I work holistically and to help you discover or unearth strong foundations to your sexuality.
I will double check with you early on in our relationship about medical checks.
It may be that there are medical or non psychosexual reasons for things not working out in the nookie department that cannot be changed. In this case we’ll aim to work around this, build self esteem and confidence, knowledge and help you explore what might work for you in the future. Finding a new sexual/intimate repertoire with a partner can be daunting but also great create curiosity and fun, if you can let go of what you think it ‘should’ be!
Common Presenting Symptoms or Issues in Sex Therapy
It may be that some of the issues listed below are relevant to you, but they are not a problem for you in life, or with your partner(s). If that is the case you probably do not need to be seeing me! It’s when these things are a problem for you, or your partner(s) that you may be looking for help. It maybe this happens all the time, or just with a particular partner. If you’re unsure we can have a chat for 10 minutes before you even book in a ‘Discovery Session’ with me.
If you have a Vulva….
- Dysperunia (painful sex , painful genital touch. Often in combination with Vaginismus)
- Vaginal dryness or vaginal canal not expanding
- Vaginismus (difficulty experiencing vaginal penetrative play)
- Anxiety stored in the body due to birth or other trauma
If you have a Penis …..
- Rapid ejaculalation (ejaculating quicker than you’d like, and used to be know as premature ejaculation)
- Retrograde ejaculation (when ejaculate goes backwards into the bladder)
- Delayed ejaculation (when it takes you longer than you’d like to ejaculate)
- Lack of erections when you want them (Often known as ED or Erectile Dysfunction)
- Low desire or low libido
- Fear of intimacy
- Performance anxiety
- Sex / touch after assault
- Anorgasmia (inability to orgasm)
- Analismus (difficulty experiencing penetrative anal play)
- Difficulty staying present during sex (either dissociation or finding sobersex difficult)
- Feeling like you are addicted to sex, including porn, commercial sex and solo sex (* Please note – I do not work along a 12 step addiction philosophy)
- Fertility Problems, miscarriages, terminations
- Don’t know your sexual body and how it likes to receive pleasure, or difficulties asking for what touch does give you pleasure
- Chronic medical conditions that are affecting sexual function (such as Cancer, Diabetes, ,Fibromyalia, Heart Problems, or HIV)
- The post-natal phase – adjusting to post baby bodies and family dynamics
- Impact of religion
- Virginity or celibacy
- Body dysmorphia (excessive unhappiness with your body)
- Developmental relational issues that might be reflected in your current sexual and / relational communication (See here)